mihlen

Today I'm reflecting on how much of my life experience and the way I engage emotionally with the world is due to my aphantasia and resultant Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory (SDAM).

I was discussing with a friend about the frequency of the average person feeling self-conscious, and how that sentiment is really unintuitive for me because of a combination of my natural self-assurance, my childhood obliviousness, and the poor longevity of my emotional experiences… and then I started to reflect on how much the last one weighs.

I think I'm a happier person for having poor autobiographical memory. I live in the present more, and I don't cling to resentment or embarrassment—it makes it easier to move on from things and weather hard times, knowing I'll feel better the next day. It's strange to consider that it isn't so easy for others, especially those who are haunted strongly by memories.

Not really an educational post, just self-reflecting—happy 2025, everyone ahaha

I've finally caved and decided to give Dreamwidth a shot. My OC work can be found on Tumblr and AO3 (mind the content warnings!), but I'm trying to get some work done on my long-form novel, and I thought well, might as well use that as an excuse to start on the online journaling platform! 

The new year is approaching, and despite my misgivings about the world at large, I'm excited for it. The New Year comes with new promises and new resolutions—it's when I'm most motivated. I'm hoping to take real advantage of it.